Today I tried. I rang the number and it was answered by the usual call-handling device requiring me to select an option from a list. Of course, my enquiry wasn’t listed as it’s not about money, so I had to press the final all-purpose option. At least there was one. I then got the usual message telling me all operators were busy but they were trying to connect me, followed by the report no operators were available. I was then given another list of options, none of which applied, so I continued to hold. I was given the list again and once again ignored it. This time the robot terminated the call as I had not selected an option.

So, there it is – another example of a country where nothing works any more. You can only contact the CAB on the phone, and they have a website assuring people they are ready to help, but when one phones one is told no one is available and the call is summarily ended. We can call, but we won’t get through. We can’t even wait for an answer because they won’t hold.

There was a recent question raised on Radio Four as to whether modern life is more Orwellian or Kafkaesque. My experience is it’s both: Orwellian in public with lies and statements which imply the opposite of the reality, and Kafkaesque when trying to access the advertised facilities, because we just won’t be able to complete the process, however hard we try. The system is designed to give the impression help is available without actually providing any. It is the societal equivalent of a fairground crane which is incapable of lifting anything because it lacks a mechanism to grip.